Real Men of Genius

[Pomai]

We've all heard those funny Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" radio ads. Gotta' love the local one they made about "Mr. Moped Souper-Upper".

Got any you can think of that hasn't been done yet (see link)?

Here's one I thought of...

Real Men of Genius: Mr. Chronic Message Board Poster
(to the tune of Real Men of Genius)
lyrics by Pomai

Real Men of Genius
Mr. Message Chronic Board Poster!
We salute you, Mr. master of discussions
For if it weren't for you, we'd have nothing interesting to read
and thanks to you, we STILL have nothing interesting to read
*back-up singer follows with >>> Keep it to yourself
You're a wealth of knowledge
Thanks to Google
*back-up singer follows with >>> wait, I'm still searchin'
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, cruncher of the keyboard
Because you've already made 10,000 posts in this thread
and there's still a few hours left in the day to make 100 posts more in the OTHER thread
Mr. Chronic Message Board Poster

[Pomai]

Re: Real Men of Genius

Here's a spin-off to the "Mr. Moped Souper-Upper" ad...

Mr. Moped with a Surfboard Rack Rider
lyrics by Pomai

Real Men of Genius
Mr. Moped with a Surfboard Rack Rider!
We salute you for being able to drive with that thing by your side
Only you can steer a moped
that has the aerodynamics of a sheet of plywood
*back-up singer follows with >>> it's douglas fir treated
Your bike wants to steer left
but you make it right
*back-up singer follows with >>> my arm has a cramp
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. windsurfer on wheels
because you'll get that stick to the beach
no matter what it takes
Mr. Moped with a Surfboard Rack Rider

[Pomai]

Re: Real Men of Genius


Mr. Graduation Lei Wearer
lyrics by Pomai

Real Men of Genius
Mr. Graduation Lei Wearer!
We'd salute you, but we don't think you can see us
Your, uncle, aunt, cousin and every friend you know
put a lei over that head of yours
*back-up singer follows with >>> I'd rather get money
The leis are stacked so high on you,
it looks like one wrong step, and you'd fall over
*back-up singer follows with >>> get me a periscope
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Tower of Flowers
Because there's 10 more leis comin' your way
and don't you get caught giving any of them away
Mr. Graduation Lei Wearer

[Pomai]

Re: Real Men of Genius

Miss Hawaiian Bracelet Wearer
lyrics by Pomai

Bud Light presents Real Women of Genius
Miss Hawaiian Bracelet Wearer!
We salute you, mistress of stenciled gold
Why wear one bracelet, when you can wear ten
and that's just the left arm
*back-up singer follows with >>> I'm Wonder Woman
It may say Kuu'ipo at the store
And in fact that is your name, but just one part of it
*back-up singer follows with >>> Kuu'ipo
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Miss "Family Tree on Your Arms"
because you make the family proud
and it shows everywhere you go
in all its shining glory
Miss Hawaiian Bracelet Wearer

[Pomai]

Re: Real Men of Genius

Mr. Costco Sample Hoarder
lyrics by Pomai

Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius
Mr. Costco Sample Hoarder!
We'd salute you, but we have nothing to salute you with
because you took it all
I really wanted to try a sample slice of that microwaved burrito
But you made a fiesta out of it, and took the last two
*back-up singer follows with >>> I hope she nukes a new batch
Just when I thought it was mine
Mr. Sample Ninja swoops from around the corner and beats me to it
*back-up singer follows with >>> That was really sneaky
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Free-Bee man
Because they're giving away samples of beef jerky
7 aisles down
and you'll need all the energy you can get to beat me to that one
Mr. Costco Sample Hoarder

[Pomai]

Re: Real Men of Genius


Mr. Undecided Bento Shopper
lyrics by Pomai

Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius
Mr. Undecided Bento Shopper!
We salute you Mr. Katsu vs. Curry man
The bento selection here is mind boggling
and your boggled brain is busting
*back-up singer follows with >>> What should I eat?
That teriyaki and chicken katsu combo sure looks good
But for health's sake, you really should choose the salmon
*back-up singer follows with >>> I still want the Katsu
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. denial of the deep-fried
Because no matter what entree you choose, you'll still get
rice with furikake and tsukemono to balance that bento out
Mr. Undecided Bento Shopper

[Pomai]

Re: Real Men of Genius

Mr. Sit-in-Front of the Store Ukulele Player
lyrics by Pomai

Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius
Mr. Sit-in-Front of the Store Ukulele Player!
We salute you Mr. entertainer of the store entrance
You strum that 4-string and hum a song
that we really can't make out as we quickly pass by you
*Back-up singer follows with>>> That sounded like Alika
You may not be no Jake or Kelly Boy
But at least you know how to kill time
without killing our eardrums
*Back-up singer follows with>>> Somebody refill my coffee
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Retirement Riff Master
Because there's 5 other retired guys singing along with you
and when we retire, we'll be doing that too
Mr. Sit-in-Front of the Store Ukulele Player

[Pomai]

Re: Real Men of Genius

Mr. Tourist Volunteer Hula Dancer
lyrics by Pomai

Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius
Mr. Tourist Volunteer Hula Dancer
We salute you, cracker boy with the crackin' hips
You're as stiff as a board
and as graceful as a goat up there
*Back-up singer follows with>>> Why did they pick him?
You put the owee owee
in Uli Uli
*Back-up singer follows with>>> PLEASE! sit back down
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light MC Hammer of the Hula
At least you're giving it your all
even if that's all you got
Mr. Tourist Volunteer Hula Dancer

[Pomai]

Re: Real Men of Genius

Mr. Coconut Tree Climber
lyrics by Pomai

Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius
Mr. Coconut Tree Climber
We salute you Mr. Monkey of the Groves
Only you have the skill and guts
to climb something not even my cat would dare to
*Back-up singer follows with>>> Meow
With just a chain and knife in hand
you drop more coconuts than a B-52 drops bombs
*Back-up singer follows with>>> ooh that's a big one
So crack open an Ice Cold Bud Light Mr. Nut Chopper
because after it's all said and done
we'll have enough coconuts to make Pina Coladas for 3 weeks
Mr. Coconut Tree Climber

[jdub]

Re: Real Men of Genius

Go easy. You're hilarious. Now I'm going to have to come up with one. Well done. This is sure to become my favorite thread.

[Pomai]

Re: Real Men of Genius


Mr. Huli Huli Chicken Fundraising Coworker
lyrics by Pomai

Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius
Mr. Huli Huli Chicken Fundraising Coworker
We salute you, Mr. "Fowl-For-Funds Freddy"
I still have 2 bags of Huli Huli Chicken in the freezer from LAST year
and you're already coming back around this year for me to buy more
*Back-up singer follows with>>> Do it for the team
It's 8 bucks for half a chicken
Here's 16, give me two
*Back-up singer follows with>>> Thank You Very Much
So crack open an Ice Cold Bud Light Chicken Man
Among Zippy's Chili, Chocolate covered Almonds and Girl Scout Cookies,
The turning bird is still our favorite
Mr. Huli Huli Chicken Fundraising Coworker

[Pomai]

Re: Real Men of Genius

Mr. Silver Man Waikiki Street Performer
lyrics by Pomai

Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius
Mr. Silver Man Waikiki Street Performer!
Today we salute you, Mr. Whatever you are
You stand there stiff as a rock
Blowing that whistle and moving on occasion to make things interesting
*Back-up singer follows with>>> Mom, why is that man doing that?
I guess you had to choose the color silver
because the guy a block up the street already got the color gold
*Back-up singer follows with>>> that bastard
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Shine Shady
Here's a dollar tip for your efforts
Hopefully you'll make enough tonight to buy a case of beer,
because you're gonna' need it after doing that gig
Mr. Silver Man Waikiki Street Performer

[Pomai]

Re: Real Men of Genius

Mr. Fanatical UH Football Fan
lyrics by Pomai

Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius
Mr. Fanatical UH Football Fan!
Today we salute you, Incredible Hulk of Hawaii Football
It took you 2 hours and 6 beers out in the parking lot to put all that green paint on
And don't worry, the TV cameras will see you
*Back-up singer follows with>>> make sure to say hi to your mother
Every time the Warriors make a touchdown,
you jump around like a menehune on hot lava
*Back-up singer follows with>>> Go Warriors!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Green Cheerleader in the Bleachers
because the team just made another touch down
and the TV camera is looking right at you
Mr. Fanatical UH Football Fan

[Pomai]

Re: Real Men of Genius

Mr. Manapua Man
lyrics by Pomai

Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius
Mr. Manapua Man!
Today we salute you, Mr. Purveyor of anything and everything
If it's edible, cheap and fits in your wagon,
you're selling it
*Back-up singer follows with>>> 2 for a dollar
I can't understand a damned thing you're saying
But it doesn't matter
Your Manapua & Chow Funn is really really good.
*Back-up singer follows with>>> I'll also have an ice cream
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Dim Sum Deal on Wheels
Thanks to you, right from my doorstep
I've got breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert for under 5 bucks
Mr. Manapua Man

[Pomai]

Re: Real Men of Genius

Mr. Mango Season Workplace Supplier
lyrics by Pomai

Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius
Mr. Mango Season Workplace Supplier!
Today we salute you, Surplus Mango Man
When the season is ripe, your tree has more mangoes than you know what to do with
So you give them away to your friends and coworkers
and they love you for it
*Back-up singer follows with>>> I need a bag to put these in
Pickled, shoyu and vinegar, chutney
been there, done that
*Back-up singer follows with>>> How about a facial cream?
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh fruit fairy
your coworkers may be stoked
but you still have to go home and rake all those leaves
Mr. Mango Season Workplace Supplier