The right thing

[Pedro]

Have you ever done something you felt was right maybe it was the spur of the moment type of thing it made you feel good deep inside for a little while and after pondering over it in your mind like some kind of lose screw feeling insecure you ask yourself "Did I do the right thing?" Here's a story.

I got paid last week Friday. It was a huge fat healthy check, from all the OT I was making, it wasn't a million dollars or ten thousand but it was big enough so I was happy and overjoyed thinking of all the wonderful things I could spend it on. I pulled out some money from the bank and borrowed a couple of movies from blockbuster in Mililani shopping center and also a few video games. So there I was in La La Land happy like a KING like I won the lottery or something I mean I did pay my bills; my car, my Rent, and my Car Innsuriance, my retirement and I had a lot left over to spend and I had some money reserved on the side for emergency. With all that taken cared of I still had money.

As I was going to Foodland to purchase a bus pass for October a thin local girl with raggy clothes she looked no older than fifteen approached me and asked me for money she only wanted spare change.

I felt pity for her as I was about to reach into my wallet to give her cash, something struck my mind; what is a young girl like this doing out on a school night asking for money shouldn't she be home with her parents? I asked her how much money she had on her so far she said only two bucks. More I felt sorry for her. I started talking to her asking her a bunch of questions like how old she was, where does she live, How come she isn't home asking her parents for money, Where is she currently staying at.

Reluctantly she answered me She was sixteen and lived two miles away from the shopping center, and was currently staying at the park, Her and her parents got into a fight and the cops were out looking for her. O.K. so that was bit more than I wanted to know. But it didn't make sense to me.. Something was out of place was it DRUGS? She looked healthy she was a bit thin and she seemed smart. So I asked her if she was doing Ice and to be Honest. She said "yes." much to my bitter surprise wishing she didn't. "Well you asked me to be honest and I was." She said. So I looked into her pale brown eye's and I knew there was intellegence in her and that somehow she followed the wrong crowd. She wasn't twitching or scratching her self or breaking out in hives or talking to herself, or rambling like an idiot. So here I was with an innocent girl not succumb to the side effects of the drug. What to do I thought. Should I call the cops and have her run from me? Should I shew her off and go about my business? What was I going to do with this young mind. I had a little talk with her and she was attentive her eyes were on me the whole time and weren't staring into space. Lastly I gave her fourteen bucks and told her to get some help and to go back home.

Here I am at work thinking about it. I could've done a lot more, maybe I should have called the cops and reported her where abouts, or took her home. So far I made a few trips to the park where she told me she stayed at and she wasn't there. I am worried now if I did the right thing cause if I didn't there is a young girl out there who will destroy herself before she has the chance to discover her full potential of being a succesful person. And I've seen it happen to people I know and love. I wish that these darn drug dealers would stay the hell away from the youth. It really PISSES ME OFF!

[TurquoiseDuck]

Re: The right thing

I had a similar experience at that same area. This was maybe about a year or so ago. It was an older lady that approached me, inside Ross. She had a sad story, which I won't even go into, cause it is a long one and I believed her. I gave her twenty bucks. I know now that I was a sucker because I saw her more than once and she remembered me and went the other way fast. I do not know if she was hustling me for money for alcohol or drugs or what ever. I do not feel bad about the $20. I gave her. It was supposed to be for food for her kids who had not eaten all day and bus fare for them to go to thier relative's house. She had the guts to ask for more and I told her that I could not spare any more. I think that the best thing to do in this kind of a case is to take them into a grocery store and buy the food for them and keep the receipt ! Or fast food. I have offered to do this before and was turned down. To me, that said that they wanted money and it sure was not for food at all.

[pzarquon]

Re: The right thing

I learned a long time ago - yes, the hard way - to never reward a great story and emotional performance with money. I'll drive them where they need to go. I'll buy them a sandwich. But cash? Forget it.

I'll never forget the day I got caught up in an Oscar-worthy sob story. It got as far as my taking the man to an ATM because I didn't have any cash. As soon as I got to the bank, the clue train slammed me upside the head. I went back to the car and said I'd just drive him home to Ewa Beach myself.

He suddenly remembered he knew someone who lived around the corner and jumped out.

[Menehune Man]

Re: The right thing

Once years ago at the Kaneohe Zippy's, pre-renovation, there was a needy man standing out front who asked me for money to get breakfast. I brought him in with me to pick out what he wanted and the female manager came running over and started yelling at us. She said he's bad for business and I said please just let him get take-away and he'll be gone. She yelled get out! So I told him where to wait outside and brought him Spam-eggs and rice. I had the same. No good deed goes unpunished. Do good deeds anyway.

[bratcat]

Re: The right thing

Along the walk to work after dropping my car off to be fixed (again) which I could not afford, a man asked for spare change. My immediate reaction was no, I have none, but then, I remembered a dollar I had tucked into my bag (my last one) and I turned and gave it to him.

Don't know that it truly helped him, but it was all I had to offer. When food stamps were actaully paper, I occasionally would share a few bills with those who seemed in need, knowing they only be used for food, but with the new system, no can do.

Another time I had just gone to the grocery store and passed a guy who is known in our neighboirhood to be homeless. I offered him a loaf of bread and he refused. I guess his priorities were not food.....

[Ailina]

Re: The right thing

Pedro, that's a tough one.

In all probability, that money went toward her next drug purchase. Maybe it's similar to running out of cigarettes. I've done some pretty stupid things, made some pretty stupid choices when I ran out of cigarettes. The addiction....

I have a hard time reconciling the give/not give thing. I hate the thought of having to establish a no-give policy, but when I'm really honest with myself and consider cash will most probably go to alcohol or drugs, that whole "Enabling" thing comes up.

If my daughter were out on the streets, I wouldn't want anyone giving her money. Food, a ride, clothes--definitely. But if she were strung out, I'd want someone to tell her to "go home," "get help," etc. I wouldn't want people helping her get her next fix.