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  #1  
Old April 3rd, 2019, 08:36 PM
Kerry Kerry is offline
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Default Need feedback for article

Requesting feedback. Heads up, it's a bit outside the box; it might trigger upset/anger.

Generation after generation we high school graduates have been submitting our teachers to the humiliation of having to pathetically beg or strike for pay raises, supplies and maintenance funds. In communication coaching this behavior of ours is referred to as thwarting. Clearly we have not been trained to positively1 acknowledge our teachers, to bring our mentors along with us financially. I.e. Rarely does an upper-income high school graduate send gifts of appreciation to any teacher. The subject of acknowledgment is just not taught; what we do learn is covert thwarting (also referred to as couch potato leadership).

This phenomenon begs the question, what's the source of us thwarting our teachers?

Premise: Things were going well with a teacher and then something, an interaction, a communication with that specific teacher, and nothing has been the same since. It was one of many forks in the road for both the student and the teacher. That incident is referred to as an incomplete.

In a personal relationship unconscious thwarting begins when one partner communicates (verbally, non-verbally, physically, or psychically) in a way that doesn't feel good to the other—referred to as an abusive communication, and, who doesn't verbally acknowledge the abuse timely. I.e. Father to son: "I get that my yelling at you earlier today didn't feel good." An abuse that's not responsibly acknowledged remains as an incomplete in the back of the mind—affecting all outcomes—usually for life.

We have been been taught to communicate by education majors who themselves were taught by college/university speech-communication professors who use the Adversarial Communication Model (pass-fail, blaming, withholding, getting ahead at another's expense). Most2 high school grads have not been taught to communicate responsibly3 nor have they been guided so as to experientially discover the correlation between personal integrity and outcomes.

When someone withholds a significant thought from a significant other it automatically, instantaneously, causes the deceived partner to also withhold an equally significant thought.4 In truth, teachers are missing certain leadership-communication skills; leadership training is not included in any education major's curriculum which accounts for the fact that 25% of the nation's college freshman require remedial composition and comprehension courses to learn what teachers failed to communicate K-12.

This same thwarting phenomenon takes place between a student and a teacher. If a teacher doesn't conduct regularly scheduled clearings throughout the week they train (cause) students to withhold thoughts of disrespect, upsets and anger, which are later communicated to teachers come pay-raise voting time.6

Note #1: It's not that high school graduates (the community's citizens) consciously vote against pay raises, we do it unconsciously. At some level it doesn't seem right to pay teachers more because the mind (with its addiction to blaming) believes that if teachers had done their job, had they not been connable, we'd be more successful, especially in our relationships—at best we'd all have better penmanship.

Note #2: As with sales professionals, a teacher's wages perfectly mirror his/her leadership-communication skills. The leadership-communication skills it takes to effect satisfactory fundings are the exact same skills it takes to communicate subject matter (no reasons, no excuses).

1 "positively" refers to the fact that we have been (albeit irresponsibly and not generously) acknowledging our teachers. The problem is that the way we have been acknowledging teachers affects our own prosperity. Thwarting, even unconscious thwarting, has undesirable consequences. Teachers know that we think they don't deserve as much pay as mechanics or plumbers but they don't know exactly why (after all, thinks a teacher, we're the ones who taught them to succeed financially). Teachers are not skilled at identifying (the incident, the specific communication) that causes you to thwart them. Graduates have no easy convenient way of critiquing teachers effectively so teachers can't put in correction for the next year.

2 "most" refers to the exception of Mormon students whose religion teaches acknowledgment.


3 "responsibly" Ask all the teachers in every school to write down the definition of the word responsible and you'll get as many different answers as there are teachers.

4 All divorced couples (yes all) withheld a significant thought (a deal-breaker) from each other on their very first date; each unconsciously, non-verbally, gave the other permission to withhold certain thoughts.

5 Columbine-type shooters daily communicated, non-verbally, that something was not right and none of their teachers had been trained how to acknowledge (to get) the anger.


6 Teachers have not studied how to consciously, positively, affect behaviors through acknowledgement; students are missing specific acknowledgment skills.

Leadership Tips for Teachers:

1) Two new prerequisites for education majors:

2) An aware principal conducts anonymous surveys each Friday. He/she hands students a list of the school's staff to be rated 1-10. Done anonymously it's an excellent tool for coaching teachers.

3) An aware principal provides an anonymous online teacher/school evaluation form for seniors and parents upon graduating.

4) There is another way of relating/communicating, another communication model, that produces favorable results for all concerned (read about the Communication-Skills Tutorial for Teachers).

5) The leadership-communication skills it takes to effect satisfactory wages, supplies, and maintenance funds are the exact same skills it takes to communicate subject matter.

6) An aware principal schedules regular parent-teacher-graduate support groups. The bi-monthl support group addresses all relationship/communication problems.

Last edited by Kerry; April 3rd, 2019 at 09:03 PM.
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  #2  
Old April 10th, 2019, 02:02 PM
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TuNnL TuNnL is offline
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Lightbulb Re: Need feedback for article

So, the article puts forth some fanciful suppositions. I have to say that I read it more like a psychology exercise. None of any of the author's conclusions appear to based on critical or objective study.

On the contrary, it is more of an attempt to cast the stone of blame by categorizing behaviors unfavorable to educators as shameful, undesirable and otherwise inadequate. ☹️
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  #3  
Old April 10th, 2019, 05:48 PM
Kerry Kerry is offline
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Thumbs up Re: Need feedback for article

Thanks TuNnL,

Very perceptive. It's definitely self-righteously critical of the education system.

Your use of the word "shameful" is accurate, that I could have a B.A. and an M.A. in speech-communication and still be so ineffective at making a positive difference in my own profession — 44+ years as a leadership-relationship communication-skills coach teaching graduates what they failed to learn in schools. As always, it's remain silent or do with what skills I have; except for brief excursions (such as this thread) out into the real world, most of the time I find myself leading from my Lazy-boy.

For decades we educators have voted non-verbally for more of the same, submitting students to a communication model guaranteed to produce 25% of the nation's college freshman to require remedial courses, and worse, teaching teens to deceive both sets of parents so as to have sex.

My long-range goal is to have universities offer and require a 4-yr leadership training for political science, healthcare, and education majors. Care to assist?

Much appreciation, Kerry


P.S. Are you an educator?
P.P.S: Do know if there is a way to turn on editing full-time on ones posts? My "edit" option disappears a few hours after posting.
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  #4  
Old April 13th, 2019, 11:30 AM
Ron Whitfield Ron Whitfield is offline
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Default Re: Need feedback for article

there has always been war waged against education post-WW2, 'they' knew to dumbify and recruit kids into faux-Christian warbots was a great advantage against intelligence and basic caring. and boy did it work, they won that war long ago and we currently see the end results, our little Democracy experiment was purposely sabotaged and destroyed by those Ike warned us about.
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  #5  
Old April 13th, 2019, 10:52 PM
Ron Whitfield Ron Whitfield is offline
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Default Re: Need feedback for article

I like this https://finance.yahoo.com/news/stude...124020955.html
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